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Where is the “coming soon” – stuff that leave you hanging

May 20, 2010

You know what I hate? Waiting.

Particularly for a sequel of a book, a movie or a sitcom where you need it to find out what happens next. I stopped watching serials on TV because they’d always leave you hanging at the end. They resolve one issue and just as you settle down in satisfaction they create another problem and leave you hanging for a whole week in anguish.

So I took to watching sitcoms in bulk. Wait till it has peaked, rent the entire fricking series and watch it. Unless it was something fun like Friends.

I was reading this book Eragon (by Christopher Paolini). I first discovered this book over an year ago. 3 books in the series had come out and though Eragon starts off quite slow, it is catching. By the end of the second book, you really want to know how the bad guy is killed and what happens to Eragon and his dragon, Saphira. In most of the fantasy books, the good guy kills the bad one and he takes over the throne. The woman, be she elf, dwarf or human, will be by his side and if he had another sort-of fling in all the adventure, she’s killed somewhere (did Bollywood copy that idea or was it the other way).

But in Eragon, you wonder who’ll be the woman… because there is the elf, who is hey! sexy and smart, and there is a witch. And there are a few other women who could have the option too. So the author needs to decide what he’ll tweak and why. Except Paolini is either living off the money from the first 3 or has a writer’s block, but there has been no book or an announcement of the book since the last one – Brisingr – was published in 2008.

I would’ve thought Random House would’ve come up with something or the other. The first book was even made into a movie, which fell a little flat. The dragon was beautiful in it but the rest really needed some work. I didn’t watch the whole movie… but then to be fair, much of the action in book occurs towards the second half too.

Anyway, so now i am just plain frustrated about waiting for this 4th book – for what was supposed to be set of 3 in the first place. Public memory’s short Mr.Paolini.

Another thing I got tired of waiting was How I Met Your Mother. I know technically the sitcom ends when he meets the mother… but hey! I so badly wanna know!!!

Efficiency is deeply appreciated in matters like this. Imagine if they’d made a Star Wars movie where we had to wait for another 10 years to know Hans lived or not when he was… cemented. Or if Indiana Jones survived a jump off some cliff. Indian movies in particular love this “returning to life” philosophy, which unfortunately has bled into serials as well. I laughed like a loon when one of those K-serials bought back a guy they’d killed off simply because the public loved him and they said “he met with an accident and had amnesia”. Bah!

This is why I loved Harry Potter. I knew the date when the next book was coming out by the time I was done reading the current one. It was a bit of a disappointment to see it end… (though I hated the 6th book! What the hell was all the snogging about? It maybe Brit but the word reminds me of pigs kissing… not to mention it didn’t deserve a whole book!). I don’t particularly care about the movies… the first 3 were a joke right from the casting of Dumbledore and the way they ‘modified’ the script… and then realised they’d have to chop out whole lots of stuff from the sequels because there was no way to go back and explain all of that again – and the bits they chopped was what gave the series its charm. The 4th was good animation… least you could forget about Harry Potter books and watch it as a movie. 5th was brilliant and now they plan to chop up the snogging book into two??? Whatever for?!? Two whole movies of teenage kids kissing? Don’t we have enough of that already?

Imagine if Peter Jackson had decided to do this to Lord of The Rings. After he’d been cursed and chopped up by the fans, he’d never have won all those Oscars. The books were a hit for a reason. They are cults. If they had decided to say.. hey! we don’t need those two other midgets… oops, hobbits… in the movie – there never would have been a Fellowship.

And the last of the latest hit series – Twilight. Who likes it? If you are a fan, stop reading this now. There have been various articles talking about the ‘teenage psychological significance’ about the book. BS. Right. The best though I think was something I read recently about how Bella was an empty shell of a girl. she is described so very vaguely that any teenage girl could say “hey that’s me. i have bad days… days where I feel blue. I have a crush on this gorgeous guy in school who doesn’t look at me” – does that sound familiar. Of course it does!!! It is every teenage girl, including perhaps Cindy Crawford, Giselle and Sushmitha Sen. And then the guy who is supposed to be the ‘dream boy’ – he is always by her side, moons over her, watches her sleep and has sweet smelling breath (and no problem of BO). Pfft!

No wonder it was a hit. I didn’t have a problem with the veggie vampires but I just wanted to shake Bella and bitch slap her and say “woman get a life!!” It is a little stupid how she keeps moaning about being invisible when there are at least 3 guys fighting for her hand. Would it really scar the pysche of teens? I don’t know. I mean Harry Potter didn’t send all the kinds to find wands and dragons and stuff. It is a book… but it just reinforces stereotypes so much!!! Weak girl. Strong boy who always comes to the rescue, even if he caused the problem in the first place and is dead.

Okay maybe I get what those critics were talking about. It is extremely passive aggressive and unhealthily dependent. Not to mention – every teenage girl starts wanting a guy like that even if he were dead. Would be so much easier to dream about Johny Depp. Least there is more of a chance of that maybe happening… you could be stranded on an island and he could be… and in the couple of hours it takes for the coast guard to locate you via GPS, you can have an interesting time.

Anyway, which is the book/movie/sitcom you gave up waiting on? Or wished had never been published. My vote for latter seriously goes for Twilight!

And has anyone ever managed to finish The Wheel of Time?

Song of the day: RadioHead – Karma Police

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